Ep 2. 1st Year as a Mompreneur
Hi Friend!
In this solo episode, our host Phylicia shares her 1st year as a mompreneur. Reflections and challenges and lessons are shared.
About Phylicia
Phylicia Pough, MBA is a wife, mom of 2 and an entrepreneur. For over 10 years, Phylicia has been behind the scenes of businesses and ministries, keeping things organized. Her journey started in Administration and developed into Systems & Automation Consulting/Strategy.
Her latest venture is The Mom CEO Suite which is a community for the modern day mom in business that helps mompreneur coaches, consultants & service providers build sustainable online businesses through systems, so they have the freedom to put family first without the business suffering.
Connect with Phylicia
Facebook: Phylicia Pough
Instagram: @PhyliciaPough
Connect with The Mom CEO Suite
Website: themomceosuite.com
Instagram: @themomceosuite
Join The Mom CEO Suite Email Community
This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis:
Chartable - https://chartable.com/privacy
Transcript
Speaker:I would say rollercoaster.
Speaker:Up and down, up and down, up and down.
Speaker:Lots of exhilaration.
Speaker:little bit of fear.
Speaker:But overall a good right.
Speaker:So, let me just go back to the beginning and.
Speaker:Give a little.
Speaker:Backdrop to my first year.
Speaker:So my daughter was born in August of 2021.
Speaker:She was born in South Carolina.
Speaker:I had moved there to be.
Speaker:With my family.
Speaker:I had originally planned Q4 of 2020.
Speaker:I had made the decision that I was finally going to move to Charlotte.
Speaker:My dad had moved down there a while ago.
Speaker:And every time I went to visit, it was like a, a place of peace for me.
Speaker:And so, Q4 of 2020.
Speaker:I made the decision finally going to go.
Speaker:I'm moving to Charlotte.
Speaker:And then in December, Found out I was pregnant.
Speaker:And I'm like, man, that kind of changes the plan a little bit.
Speaker:Right?
Speaker:Because if things work out with my child's father, then we'll
Speaker:probably be in the DMV area.
Speaker:But I did not want to miss the opportunity to be in the Carolinas.
Speaker:And so I still moved down there.
Speaker:I stayed there for like a year and a half, and I said, , If I'm going to be.
Speaker:Pregnant.
Speaker:I want to be in a peaceful environment and Philly where I'm originally from was
Speaker:not that peaceful environment for me.
Speaker:So I did go down to the Carolinas.
Speaker:I was down there for my pregnancy and I gave birth to
Speaker:my daughter in August of 2021.
Speaker:And then.
Speaker:Let's see may of 2022.
Speaker:We ended up moving to the DMV area.
Speaker:I moved here with my then child's father and in August of 2022.
Speaker:We got married.
Speaker:And so he's nailed my husband.
Speaker:And here we are.
Speaker:So just thinking back and reflecting on that first year.
Speaker:There were so many things, things that I just had to get adjusted to.
Speaker:You know, except this new norm.
Speaker:And one of the major things that I had to in the beginning get used to.
Speaker:Was adjusting to not being able to just get up and go.
Speaker:I love to travel and.
Speaker:Prior to giving birth.
Speaker:I was going back and forth.
Speaker:Even during my pregnancy.
Speaker:I did a lot of traveling.
Speaker:I was in Atlanta.
Speaker:I was in the Carolinas.
Speaker:I was in the DMV.
Speaker:I went to, some islands, I think it was like St.
Speaker:John.
Speaker:So.
Speaker:I'm a traveler and now having a baby, it's totally different.
Speaker:You just can't get up and go.
Speaker:And most times I don't even feel like it.
Speaker:Once I start thinking about all of the things that I need to take.
Speaker:It's just a totally different situation.
Speaker:And.
Speaker:At first, I was a little bit.
Speaker:You know, bummed out about it.
Speaker:But I soon realized that this is just a season and I had to shift my mindset.
Speaker:To recognize that this is just a season, , it's not always going to be this way.
Speaker:One day, she's going to be grown out the house.
Speaker:And I'll be able to travel whenever or as she gets older, I can send her somewhere.
Speaker:To stay with somebody, but when she was young, I really wasn't even
Speaker:in a place where I was trusting.
Speaker:Trusting her to be with other people a lot.
Speaker:And so that meant I was at home as well.
Speaker:, but this forced me to.
Speaker:Find joy in other things.
Speaker:And it just opened my eyes to the fact that I could find joy and other things.
Speaker:And most days it was in the little things, like just seeing her laugh.
Speaker:Or, The way she would look at me or feeling just this sense of pride.
Speaker:Knowing that I had this child, and so it's these little things which
Speaker:is, uh, a bit of a contrast to.
Speaker:Traveling I feel like traveling is like big experiences in big feelings.
Speaker:But in motherhood, You still felt those big feelings, but
Speaker:the experiences were smaller.
Speaker:And bite-sized, and that was new and different for me.
Speaker:But.
Speaker:I live now for those little moments, those little moments are everything.
Speaker:Everything to me.
Speaker:Now she's in this stage where.
Speaker:She like.
Speaker:Walks up to me and what's the give me a kiss or she'll come up and climb on
Speaker:me and lay her head on my chest and i'm like oh my goodness cue the waterworks
Speaker:is so adorable and melts my heart.
Speaker:and so it's these little things
Speaker:Another thing.
Speaker:This one was actually a little bit harder for me to adjust to,
Speaker:and that was being by myself.
Speaker:So when I was in the Carolinas, I was staying with my dad and his wife.
Speaker:And all of my family is pretty much from Philly.
Speaker:So.
Speaker:When I moved to the DMV.
Speaker:I really did not have any family that was immediately close to me.
Speaker:Like we couldn't just stop by each other's house or, you
Speaker:know, pop by on the weekends.
Speaker:My family affiliates about two and a half, three hours away.
Speaker:Which is in bed, but it's still not the same as just being in the same city.
Speaker:So.
Speaker:It was just me, my husband and my daughter.
Speaker:And my husband, he goes to work through the day.
Speaker:So I had to pretty much be at home with the baby by myself.
Speaker:Every day.
Speaker:And that was again different because I'm used to having family.
Speaker:Me and my family are very close.
Speaker:And it was a difficult transition.
Speaker:Also remember that.
Speaker:Um, a newlywed at this time as well.
Speaker:So.
Speaker:I'm still learning how to be a wife and all these things on top
Speaker:of learning, how to be a mom.
Speaker:That was a big challenge.
Speaker:I didn't have a village I didn't.
Speaker:Really know anybody here in the area.
Speaker:Being by myself.
Speaker:I really had to.
Speaker:Learn and adjust how to be in that space.
Speaker:So it kind of combat those feelings.
Speaker:We.
Speaker:Matt a lot, but we will go up to Philly.
Speaker:Sometimes and family came down and so that kind of lifted the burden a
Speaker:little bit and I was still be able to.
Speaker:Connect with my family and.
Speaker:Thank God for technology, because we can do video chats and all those
Speaker:things, which keeps us connected and is really helpful for me.
Speaker:But with that, it also is.
Speaker:Pushing me.
Speaker:Too.
Speaker:Be open to.
Speaker:A new community and a new village.
Speaker:Like I'm used to connecting.
Speaker:For business, like for entrepreneurship.
Speaker:But just for community.
Speaker:That was something.
Speaker:That was new for me.
Speaker:And it still is.
Speaker:I still haven't really.
Speaker:Bill a community.
Speaker:Of like-minded women.
Speaker:Locally.
Speaker:But it's a part of my plan.
Speaker:Now with being by myself.
Speaker:There's a lot.
Speaker:That.
Speaker:I was taking on, taking care of the baby, but then also the household . And.
Speaker:That became a lie.
Speaker:I had to learn how to speak up.
Speaker:In a different way that I wasn't used to, like I had to ask for help.
Speaker:I'm one of those people.
Speaker:That's like, if something needs to be done, I'll get it done.
Speaker:But in this situation, doing all the things.
Speaker:Was leading me to feelings of.
Speaker:I wouldn't say quite burnout, but there was lots of overwhelm.
Speaker:Because you feel like you're doing all this stuff.
Speaker:And so I had to learn how to speak up and say, Hey.
Speaker:I need some help.
Speaker:I had to have these conversations with my husband.
Speaker:And I had to let him, I had to allow him to help me.
Speaker:Now, when I got the help.
Speaker:This was another thing that I had to work through when I got the help.
Speaker:I had to learn how to let go or relinquish control of the process.
Speaker:What I mean is I know how I do things and I like things done.
Speaker:A certain way.
Speaker:and when I was receiving this help.
Speaker:Things weren't always necessarily done the way that I would have done them.
Speaker:But me being this.
Speaker:Type a personality.
Speaker:I'm a, I'm a systems person, right?
Speaker:I'm a systems thinker.
Speaker:So I did not realize just how much.
Speaker:I attempted to control processes in my personal life.
Speaker:Like in business.
Speaker:Yes.
Speaker:But I didn't know that really spilled over into my personal life.
Speaker:I attempted to control processes and the outcomes of things.
Speaker:But I had to learn how to let that go.
Speaker:It was little things even.
Speaker:Like when my husband started.
Speaker:Doing dishes more.
Speaker:I noticed that he put the dishes in, like the opposite way that I put them in.
Speaker:When I first noticed it, it bothered me, but I had to let go.
Speaker:Of these little things, because in the grand scheme of things,
Speaker:they do not matter at all.
Speaker:It got done.
Speaker:One less thing I had to do and he's being supportive.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:And so I just had to learn how to give up control and, you know,
Speaker:you gotta pick your battles.
Speaker:I had to learn how to pick my battles.
Speaker:Because everything is not worth.
Speaker:It's not worth the fight.
Speaker:There were.
Speaker:Times where I felt like.
Speaker:I just didn't want to.
Speaker:Do anything.
Speaker:, it wasn't a thing of depression thankfully out in.
Speaker:Suffer from postpartum depression.
Speaker:And I had a really.
Speaker:Easy recovery.
Speaker:I had a really easy pregnancy.
Speaker:I think I'll do a bonus episode about my pregnancy and the birth more.
Speaker:So the birth.
Speaker:Um, cause this is a really good story, but.
Speaker:I wasn't suffering from depression, but.
Speaker:I think I was wrestling with.
Speaker:Do I want to continue on in entrepreneurship or do I want
Speaker:to be a stay at home mom?
Speaker:What is it that I want to do?
Speaker:And I just didn't really feel like doing anything.
Speaker:Like I felt like.
Speaker:I had lost my desire and my passion for the work that I had been doing.
Speaker:I mean, I still feel like that sometimes, but.
Speaker:During the first year, it was something that was a really heavy.
Speaker:And what really helped me to get out of that space was.
Speaker:Just the fact that as my daughter grew older, I didn't want to.
Speaker:Just be telling her what to do.
Speaker:I want it to be.
Speaker:Uh, living example for her.
Speaker:And that really.
Speaker:That desire that pushed me.
Speaker:To continue on following my dreams and going after my goals and all those things.
Speaker:Because I wanted her to look at me.
Speaker:As the example, right.
Speaker:I didn't want her to look at me and see me as.
Speaker:Sad and unaccomplished and with the woe is me type of attitude.
Speaker:Right?
Speaker:So.
Speaker:Working through that was really important and it's just helped me
Speaker:to continue on an entrepreneurship.
Speaker:I know that.
Speaker:For me.
Speaker:Being a mom.
Speaker:It does take priority.
Speaker:Over the business and that's how I, I wanted to be.
Speaker:I want to be a mom first.
Speaker:, Matt, a business owner first.
Speaker:But I don't want to give up on my dreams and my goals just because I'm a mom.
Speaker:Now looking at the entrepreneurial side of beings going my
Speaker:first year as a mompreneur.
Speaker:There were a few things that were taking place prior to I had been
Speaker:doing some done for you services.
Speaker:And during my first year, there were some pivots that I made in
Speaker:my business as it related to how I wanted to serve my audience.
Speaker:I was wanting to do less done for you work.
Speaker:And I wanted to shift into doing.
Speaker:Group programming.
Speaker:And then there was a pivot in who I actually was going to be serving.
Speaker:And so I had to take a lot of time to.
Speaker:Gain some clarity about who I was serving.
Speaker:I shifted.
Speaker:My audience to mompreneurs or moms in business.
Speaker:My services, they still could be beneficial to.
Speaker:Traditional entrepreneurs, but my marketing.
Speaker:What really just hit the heart of mompreneurs.
Speaker:And so once I made that pivot, I had to really.
Speaker:Do some work around my messaging to make sure that I was very clear in how I was
Speaker:speaking to this new target audience.
Speaker:And so during my first year as a mompreneur, I really felt like I was
Speaker:starting a new business because I was.
Speaker:Shifting.
Speaker:my services billing less done for you doing less special projects
Speaker:during this time, I really was.
Speaker:Just trying to find a way.
Speaker:Two.
Speaker:I serve, but still be in that position where I am mom first and the
Speaker:business wasn't taking over my life.
Speaker:And that meant that I, was quiet for a little bit.
Speaker:But I learned that it's okay to retreat.
Speaker:It's okay.
Speaker:To take a step back so that you can gain clarity around what it is that you
Speaker:are doing and gain momentum around it.
Speaker:And I also learned that you just really have to be excited about what it is that.
Speaker:You are doing.
Speaker:Um, recently someone who.
Speaker:I've known for years.
Speaker:We've helped each other back and forth.
Speaker:In business and, um, he reached out for.
Speaker:Some business help.
Speaker:And he offered me a few different opportunities to assist . And I chose
Speaker:things that I was excited about.
Speaker:And so the things that.
Speaker:I didn't find interest in.
Speaker:I readily said no.
Speaker:And that is something new that prior to being a mom, I probably
Speaker:would've just accepted all of the different opportunities just
Speaker:because it was an opportunity and it was something that I could do.
Speaker:But just because you can do something does not mean that.
Speaker:You should do it.
Speaker:So I'm being very.
Speaker:Selective.
Speaker:In who I work with.
Speaker:But also how I work with people.
Speaker:I am managing my energetic capacity.
Speaker:And that looks like having boundaries.
Speaker:Just to do a bit of a recap.
Speaker:The things that I really was challenged with were adjusting to
Speaker:not being able to just get up and go like, there's this little human
Speaker:attached to you all day, every day.
Speaker:And I think for me, it was even more challenging because I exclusively.
Speaker:Breastfed as well.
Speaker:And I stopped pumping when she was six months.
Speaker:I believe, maybe even sooner.
Speaker:Pumping just didn't work for me.
Speaker:. Breastfeeding.
Speaker:I said, it's just another layer of challenge right there.
Speaker:So adjusting to not being able to just getting up and go.
Speaker:Being by myself without my normal village that I'm used to.
Speaker:I had to learn how to speak up.
Speaker:And ask for help.
Speaker:But I also had to learn how to give up control.
Speaker:And dig deep to reignite.
Speaker:The passion for my goals and my dreams again.
Speaker:If I could go back and do anything differently or just
Speaker:do anything differently.
Speaker:As I continue on in this journey, for sure.
Speaker:It will be asking for help.
Speaker:I even today, the day that I'm recording this episode, I've been
Speaker:thinking about the type of home help.
Speaker:That I want to get.
Speaker:, because it's time to begin to delegate those things.
Speaker:So I can gain some more time, freedom . There's a lot of
Speaker:things that go on in the house.
Speaker:Prepping, prepping food takes up a lot of time.
Speaker:And so I was thinking, what are the things that take up a lot of my time
Speaker:and prepping food is one of those.
Speaker:So being able to.
Speaker:get house manager or.
Speaker:Uh, part-time prep, chef something, you know, some type of help in that area.
Speaker:So I can be relieved of their duty and just have more time freedom to either.
Speaker:I spend with baby girl or just add a few more working hours to my day.
Speaker:, they will be helpful.
Speaker:So that's one of the main things that I am.
Speaker:Looking to change as I continue on in this journey.
Speaker:And I probably would just give myself a little bit more grace.
Speaker:I think I did pretty well, but looking back, there were times where.
Speaker:I know , I could have just been a little bit more patient with myself
Speaker:because it was a new experience for me.
Speaker:And I don't like.
Speaker:Ealing.
Speaker:Uh, like I am failing.
Speaker:But again, motherhood and entrepreneurship.
Speaker:And then they'll mix together.
Speaker:Is a major learning curve.
Speaker:So for sure, giving myself more grace.
Speaker:In this space.
Speaker:Is something that.
Speaker:I would do differently and something that I'm doing now.
Speaker:Overall, you know, it was up and down.
Speaker:But it was joyous.
Speaker:It's just been a joy and I think I have this.
Speaker:Immense sense of gratefulness.
Speaker:To just be able to be her mom.
Speaker:Like I was selected and I was chosen to be this little girl's mom.
Speaker:And I'm honored.
Speaker:It's an honor to be a mom.
Speaker:Especially when there are so many women who desire that, and
Speaker:they're not able to experience it.
Speaker:And so I don't take it for granted.
Speaker:And I don't take it lightly at all.
Speaker:I feel blessed that I'm her mom.
Speaker:And as she grows up, I want her to look at me.
Speaker:And feel like she is blessed because I'm her mom.
Speaker:And so the journey continues.
